| Law #1: |
In any calculation, any error which can creep in will do so. |
| Law #2: |
Any error in any calculation will be in the direction of most harm. |
| Law #3: |
In any formula, constants (especially those obtained from engineering
handbooks) are to be treated as variables. |
| Law #4: |
The best approximation of service conditions in the laboratory will
not begin to meet those conditions encountered in actual service. |
| Law #5: |
The most vital dimension on any plan drawing stands the most chance
of being omitted. |
| Law #6: |
If only one bid can be secured on any project, the price will be
unreasonable. |
| Law #7: |
If a test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent production
units will malfunction. |
| Law #8: |
All delivery promises must be multiplied by a factor of 2.0. |
| Law #9: |
Major changes in construction will always be requested after fabrication
is nearly complete. |
| Law #10: |
Parts that positively cannot be assembled in improper order will
be. |
| Law #11: |
Interchangeable parts won't. |
| Law #12: |
Manufacturer's specifications of performance should be multiplied
by a factor of 0.5. |
| Law #13: |
Salespeople's claims for performance should be multiplied by a factor
of 0.25. |
| Law #14: |
Installation and Operating Instructions shipped with the device
will be promptly discarded by the Receiving Department. |
| Law #15: |
Any device requiring service or adjustment will be the least accessible. |
| Law #16: |
Service conditions as given on specifications will be exceeded. |
| Law #17: |
If more than one person is responsible for a miscalculation, no
one will be at fault. |
| Law #18: |
Identical units which test in an identical fashion will not behave
in an identical fashion in the field. |
| Law #19: |
If, in engineering practice, a safety factor is sent through the
service experience at an ultimate value, an ingenious idiot will promptly
calculate a method to exceed said safety factor. |
| Law #20: |
Warranty and guarantee clauses are voided by payment of the invoice. |
| Law #21: |
The rule for engineers: "Change the data to fit the curve."
|