Crooks are Stupid
Crime doesn't pay, and apparently - neither does bragging about it.
A Chicago man is facing bank robbery charges after authorities say he called
into a Chicago radio station and bragged about the heist. The robbery at
a TCF Bank in Chicago last April went unsolved until a bank worker heard
the man's call to a popular confessions show. The caller bragged that he
and five others tied up employees and got away with $81,000. A bank worker
recognized details from the confession as matching the hold-up at her bank
and called authorities.
The FBI traced the call to a cell phone belonging to 24-year-old Randy Washington
of Dolton. He and another man are now facing federal charges, and authorities
are looking for four others.
Smuggler's car so full it breaks down
A man from Poland had packed his car so full of beer, liquor and cigarettes
that it broke down, uncomfortably close to a border crossing where customs
officials were standing by.
The incident marked the second major haul for customs patrols in the past
week.
It occurred Tuesday evening at the Swedish border in the Aurskog-Høland
area of Akershus County. The man came driving along in an old Volvo 740
with Swedish license plates.
Newspaper Smaalenenes Avis reported that the car was loaded with 400 liters
of beer, 22 liters of spirits and 10,800 cigarettes, all bound for the Norwegian
market where such items are highly taxed.
The load proved to be too much for the car, which a customs official said
wouldn't survive its transport to the customs station. The Polish man was
arrested, put into custody at a jail in Fredrikstad and can expect a large
fine.
Last Friday, another man was caught near Bjørkebekk, carrying 83
liters of liquor, 396 liters of beer and 18 kilos of tobacco.
Wanted: A better getaway driver
EDMONTON (CP) - Police were looking for a limping robber Tuesday after a
suspect in an armed robbery was clipped by his own getaway vehicle.
Police said the knife-wielding suspect grabbed cash and beer from a northeast
Edmonton liquor store Sunday night and was running toward a van when he
was hit.
Witnesses said he slipped under the van and it ran over his leg.
The man managed to pull himself out from under the vehicle and climbed inside.
The suspect is about 40 years old and was wearing a black toque.
Burglars enter optician's shop by mistake - three times
Burglars tried to break into an electronics retailer three times - only
to find they'd drilled through to an opticians by mistake.
Police say the trio broke into a local newspaper office housed in the same
building in Vara, 200 miles south-west of Stockholm. It's thought they bored
a hole into the wall using a power drill, but ended up breaking into an
optician's office.
Spokesman Johan Svensson said: "They tried again on another wall, with
the same result. And a third time."
When they punched through a fourth wall, they finally broke through to the
store, but alarms went off and they fled without grabbing anything, Mr Svensson
said.
Police are still searching for the men, and no arrests have been made.
True story from San Francisco
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured
his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the
mail a ticket for $40, and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent
the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received
a letter from the police department that contained another picture—of
handcuffs.
True story from Orange County
A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with
him to let them take him home. He says no—he only lives a mile away.
About five blocks from the party the police pull him over for weaving and
ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the
police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in a house just
a block away. The police tell the party animal to stay put, they will be
right back—and they run down the street to the robbery.
The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets
there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might
come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day. A
few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. X lives there
and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in
bed with the flu and has been so all day. The police have his driver’s
license. They ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing
his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find:
the police car, lights still flashing.
This is a true story, as told by the driver at his first AA meeting, according
to a newspaper account.
True story out of San Francisco
It seems a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
branch and wrote: “This iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag.”
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began
to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police
before he reached the teller window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After
waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.
She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he was not the
brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stick
up note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that
he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to
Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said “OK” and left the Wells
Fargo. The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the man
a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at the Bank of America.