Snappy Answer #1
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he
opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she
said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
Snappy Answer #2
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,
but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock
boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied,
"No ma'am, they're dead."
Snappy Answer #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day,"
the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast
as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent
the kid on his way without a ticket.
Snappy Answer #4
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge
is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are
backed up for miles.. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets
out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands
on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver
says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
And finally #5
THE TEACHER - Snappy Answer Of The Year
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or
illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other
excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room
raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said
I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The
entire class does its best to stifle their laughter. When silence
is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes
her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write
the exam with your other hand."
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